Subscribe to feed

About This Blog...

An area where people can tell the world of their journey to Freedom.

"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death." -Rev 12:11

Submit a testimony.


Recent Posts
Other Blogs

Jessica's Story
May 25, 2010
I can remember the many times I tried to break free from pornography.  I had struggled with it since I was 13, and had grown to hate the guilt and shame I felt whenever I was done chatting with the last internet suitor or watching the latest video.  At times, I would print out pictures and sneak out to burn them.  Other times, I would save pictures to floppy disks and then snap them in half, all trying to prove to myself that I could beat pornography.
It never worked.
A year after I graduated high school, I still found myself trapped even spiralling downward into pornography.  I hated being there.  I hated pornography.  I did not want to be there, but it seemed no matter what I did, I could not get free.  I only ended up hating myself more.  That all changed when someone helped me redirect my focus.
“Jessica,” she said, “if you want true freedom, you have to love God more than you hate the sin.”  When I first heard that, I blew it off, not really understanding the poetic cuteness of it all.  What do you mean love God more than I hate the sin?  That doesn’t make any sense.  I’m a Christian; I am supposed to hate the sin.
I had been saved for just over a year at that point, but had honestly felt that before God could do anything with my life, I had to beat pornography.  My mentors pointed me to Romans 6-8, chapters I have come to know as the freedom chapters.  You know what those chapters tell us?  They tell us that we don’t have to beat pornography.  Those chapters tell us God already has.  Those chapters tell us what I had been told months before: We have a choice- love God more than you hate the sin.
I couldn’t tell you the exact moment, but somewhere in that study, it clicked for me.  All of those years spent password protecting, locking doors, burning, smashing, snapping in order to break free were all me hating the sin.  The problem is, there was nothing else to run to.  I would say, “Pornography, I hate you!” and it was as if it answered, “Yeah, but where else are you going to go?”  That whole time I had been focused on fighting and breaking free in my own strength.  But I couldn’t.  We can’t.
That surrender was so liberating and brought so much healing.  I was giving up control, even the control of my own addictions, to an all-knowing, all-mighty, all-powerful Saviour who was (and is) more than capable of ridding me of them.  True freedom is found in the cross, in the victory won there, not in anything we do.  We don’t have to break free, God has already freed us.  What we have to do is get used to living the new life He has given us.  
There is no punishment period with God.  His mercies are new every morning, and there is a freedom and a joy in walking in that.  The devil can’t hold this sin to my account.  I am no longer “Jessica Harris- porn addict.”  I am “Jessica Harris- a child of the Most High, bought with a price, redeemed, sanctified, loved, and pure.” He tells us that He brings life abundant, and He does!  Life so abundant and a freedom full of such joy that it is unspeakable.   He alone brings true worth and meaning to life, and when you spend your life focusing on Him and revealing in all that He is, the lure of pornography fades.  In loving God, you don’t have to hate the sin because, in time, you will desire God so much more and the lure fades.
Jessica Harris is founder of Beggar's Daughter ministries.  She also serves as an author for the anti-pornography ministry, "The Porn Effect."

Post A Comment

Please enter the text you
see in the image above.
(This is just so we know that you're human.)

Can't read this image? Click SUBMIT for a new image.